every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
stop calling my apartment porn island.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize