I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
