I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You're a waste of cheezeits
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
