It's Friday. Sex?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I will pee on everything he values.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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