I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
