During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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