when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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