I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
