theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
