thus making me awesome and them whores
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
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we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
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The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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