Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
