Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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