And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
