I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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