He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
