I didn't shave. On purpose
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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