Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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