I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
