This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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