Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
