some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
