For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
