Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
