you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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