You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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