She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
