Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
we're so committed to being not committed
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
