ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
