i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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