I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
