Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
