You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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