There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
