i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
