just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
