dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
