is wine microwaveable?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
