I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
