If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize