dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
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