Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I have demons in me.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
