The beer is more important than you right now.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
