you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
