she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
