Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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