either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
