oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
