This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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