none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
