I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Still dying that you shit outside
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
