Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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