You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
