Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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