I'm pants shitting drunk right now
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
