you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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