Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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