is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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