listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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